Midodareni is a final stage of ceremony prior the wedding day, whereas the Groom will come to Bride's Home and emphasize his wills in marrying the Bride. In this ceremony both of them should not meet each other. Even in the past day, both of couple should not meet for 40 days before their wedding time. But in this modern era, the rules has been much change.
I will call this a traditional bachelorette party in Javanese version. Midodareni comes from the word "widodari" which means angel in Javanese term. Belief, that lots of angel will come to the earth and beautifies the bride to be. The bride will hide in her room until the ceremony finishes, and all of her girl friends can accompany her at that time to calm her prior the BIG day. The room which used, is very well decorated with flowers, and will be used after the wedding day as the Newlywed Room. Usually the couple will stay in the bride's parents house for a moment until they will be leaving. But this is optional, in this modern era, lots of couple go directly for their honeymoon or their new house.
In Midodareni, the Groom may come with his both parents, or only represent by his uncles. This is optional, but in my ceremony, both of the groom parents came, along with his big family. They will sit in chairs which has been prepared, opposite to the Bride's family, therefore they can see each other. Groom and his parents will sit in front of Bride's parents.
The ceremony shall begin by opening from the Javanese MC, and continue with representative from both family. The representative from Groom family will utter their aim of visit that is "the Groom has been ready to marry the Bride". They are also bring lots of gift to be given to the Bride and seeking for the Bride's response.(the gifts are called seserahan, that are uneven basket which filled with lady equipment from top to bottom, such as clothing, skirt, shoes, bags, kebaya, traditional cloth, underwear, toiletries, others). The basket could be 5, 7, 9, 11 or more.
To answer the Groom's family query, Bride's parents will need to ask their daughter, which is called Tantingan. What will be her response to the Groom's readiness to marry her? Does she accept it? Does she also in Love with this man?
Well I do, so I answered that I also in love with him quickly and willing to marry him. In return I asked my father to read "Catur Wedha" to the Groom which are 4 advices that should be used as a guideline in the marriage life.
The 4 advices which read to the Groom are mentioning that starts tomorrow both of them will unite as one and they should love, respect, and appreciate each other. Furthermore, both of the couple also should respect and appreciate their parents and in-laws. In the society, they should be citizens who are responsible, have a good attitude, honest, respect others and not differ them through their group of society, religion, or others. They need to be faithful and love God, so that God will always guide them in every step of their way.
Afterward the Bride's mother will give " Toyo Wening" or water to the Groom and he may not eat dinner. This is a tradition from the ancient time which is still carry on until today, the meaning in the past, the Groom should be avoid to eat to prevent bad luck, or food poisoning should there's someone unwanted him marrying the bride. But for all other guests, it is time to have dinner and chattering with the other family member.
After dinner, time to go home, but prior that, the Bride's parents will give " Kancing Gelung" which consist of traditional java tuxedo, cloth, keris (traditional java sword), and all of the equipment to be used by the Groom in the wedding day. Keris in the past time, was a sword that passed to the Groom, so that he can protect his family from the evil. In this modern time, it works only as a symbol. " Angsul-Angsul" are gifts which given as return to the Groom's family, which contain food, fruit, cookies, others that could be eat as breakfast in the next day. These also provided in uneven number of basket.
After the Groom's family return home, the rest of the night will be used for the Bride and Groom to sleep and take some rest after the long long day. They need to recharge their energy to face the next harsh day..the WEDDING DAY...
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